Random Game Quote Submission

Joel: Well, at least I'm large for a dwarf. [after rolling a 7 on an Intimidate check]
Dave: Yeah, and he's large for a human.

Justin: I'll do a #3 (holds up note)
Joel: Do you want fries with that?

Joel: We sent some of my friends to de-desecrete the mine.

(After much talking of harps and harpists by the halflings)
Matt (as Larisa): Stop harping on that already.

John: I unsheathe my fists.

Justin: The tall people stay.
Dave: Everybody under 5', that way!

Joel (as Thanos): Okay, I guess I don't have any choice... c'mon, take your clothes off... let's go. [in response to not getting any answers from an interrogation]
Merc. Prisoner: What?!?
Ted (as Bock): It must be a dwarf thing.

Joel: Nice craftsmanship.
<SMASH>

Ted (as Bock): We have another prisoner upstairs.
Merc. Prisoner: Is he still clothed?
Ted (as Bock): Yeah, but we were in a hurry.

Ted: Someone more intimidating than a halfling.
Justin: I don't know, maybe the bloody dwarf with the hammer.

Joel (as Thanos, the dwarf): You're beneath me. [looking up at prisoner]

Matt (as Larisa): Meet the Sodomizer. [pointing to the dwarf's warhammer]

John: Oh man, I have to choose between Pepsi and Caffeine Free Coke.
Everyone Else: Pepsi!
Justin: Like that's a choice?

Peter: It's me. [as it becomes more obvious the man approaching the party is him]
Justin: I kill him!

Halflings and Avaran: Oh, a magic user.

Matt: Can Prestidigitation be used to make earplugs?

<referring to dwarven cuisine>
John (as Avaran): Why did you try orc? [to Thanos]
Ted (as Bock): Why do you eat pigs?! [to Thanos]

Matt (as Larisa): Little people take less room; Bess, you're with us.

Dave (as Lady Sharlee): Yes, Sir Dwarf.
Joel (as Thanos): My name's Thanos.
Dave (as Lady Sharlee): Well, I didn't know.
Joel: I wouldn't expect people going around calling him "Sir Dwarf." That'd be like saying, <in moronish yokel voice> "Oh, hello Mr. Black Man!"

Dave (as Merchant): Are you from "What's-that-region-called?"

Joel: Together, tree, we will make a forest of evil.

Dave: On a dais, on a dais.

Joel: Strong enough for a dwarf, but made for a wizard.
Justin: Byyyyy dwarven!

Neighbor outside: Just turn the handle.

Matt: He'll be as much of a tank as Larisa.
Dave: [pause] I don't want to know what I walked into the tail end of.

Joel: Cause I need to be away from Avaran's character.
Matt: Avaran's character?

Justin (as Fwip): Make you stand out like a turd in a punchbowl.

Ted (as Bock): Halfling Disability Act

<discussing dwarf sizes...>
Joel: I like the way they draw the Half-Orc Female.
Pete (in a deadpan delivery): She's hot.

Dave: Plenty of weapons... no pants.

Justin (as John Doe, the half-elf): Let's go out and beat some evil.

Ted: I talk about all the obstacle courses my relatives have particiapted in, all the obstacle courses my relatives have observed, and all of the obstacle courses my relatives have conceived of.
Dave: What about all the obstacle courses your relatives have conceived of observing?
Ted: Well, I don't want to go overboard.

Ted (as Bock): Zhentarim imposters! [as he rips off the gag over his mouth]
Justin: I hide.

Dave (as Dwarf): A-ho brother. Prepare to receive... uh...
Joel (as Thanos): ummm, a beating?

Dave (as Half-Orc in Grapple contest): Let go of my arms, I need those!

<Talking about high level NPC classes (Commoner, Expert, Aristocrat, etc.)>
Joel: A Level 20 Grandmaster Cobbler--- (in sinister voice) "Who wants some shoes!"

Justin (as Fwip): I'll go up there like a vicious dog.
Dave: Like a chihuahua?

<Halflings talk about dropping a rope in Tug of War, then mooning the other team.>
Matt: Hey Dave, what's the "To Hit" for an arrow slit?
Joel: Well, it would be a small arrow slit.

Joel: It just so happens, that's bad.

Ted (as Bock): You haven't given us our lead ass.

Joel (as Thanos): I too had a religious experience that day.... but for a different reason.... which I won't go into....

Joel (as Thanos): He's just nervous, take out the gag, he likes to talk.
Dave: It's his first time!

Ted: I'm not just the president, I'm also a maple.

Ted (as Bock): I was just about to pee.
Matt (as Lilinthra): Oh, I'm sure you'll pee after this.

Dave: Oh, you're fine. Your hands are free and you're a monk.

Joel (as Thanos, the dwarf): I'm as nimble as a lithe little girl... that's fat.

Ted (as Bock): ...and ...you... believed him...?

What did he say? he asked
"He said", she said.
"She said what?" he inquired
"What she said" she retorted